I’m running out of strength to get back up. Screaming, hyperventilating, bawling, rocking back and forth … I still don’t know how to do this. 


Some are haunted by smells… I am haunted by sounds. 

…I can still hear myself screaming at the top of my lungs upon finding my husband dead… I can still hear the policeman tell me that despite all efforts, they were unable to revive him… I can still hear my mother bawling when first hearing the news… Everyday I hear these sounds, along with the silence that now hangs thickly in the air of our home…

…I miss his voice, his sweet words, his regular giggles and full-out belly laughs… I miss his ‘I love you’s and his quick witted remarks, his cheesy jokes and his footsteps while running to kiss me… I miss his mini snores, the sound of him breathing beside me at night, and his heartbeat…

Love you every day, Lover, mykylyhycwy