Day 365: One Year

It happened. Today, one year, came. As much as I wanted to avoid it, it came. The whole of yesterday and today felt surreal… as if my mind has sent me back into shock to protect me… Yes I cried, multiple times, but it’s nearing midnight and the date has almost come to a close. 

It feels like a moment ago…. It feels like a lifetime ago…. It feels like it were all a dream….

I don’t know what happens tomorrow or the following day or next year. I’ve been trained over the past year to only look at the current day, hour, minute, second… Whichever is possible at that very moment.

I do know that I love my husband more than anything or anyone in the entire universe and I will continue to beyond the day I die. I do know that he loved me more than anything in this world as well. 

I miss him. I miss getting to shower him in love. I miss feeling his love every single day. I miss everything about him, my very best friend. 

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3 thoughts on “Day 365: One Year

  1. Thoughts go out to you. They say the first year is the worst. For me, the first year was hard, with all the major milestones to face. But as I approach the second anniversary next weekend, and complete the second year, it’s just different. I might not feel like crap every second of every minute of every hour of every day like I did in the first 12-18 months, but I still have moments when the intensity of grief and loneliness and longing feels like May 23 again. It just doesn’t last as long. Hugs to you…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ‘It feels like a moment ago…. It feels like a lifetime ago…. It feels like it were all a dream….’

    I’m hearing you…. it’s a feeling of all of those, all at the same time.

    I remember getting to the one year mark and thinking yes I did it, I survived the year “they” say is the hardest and then I woke up the next day and the day after and realised this is my life now. I can’t say the the second year (which I’m still in) has been easier or harder, it’s just been a little different.

    I struggled in the weeks following the one year mark more than I did in the weeks leading up to it. But this seems to be the norm for me and any of the milestones throughout the year.

    I hope today you found a little bit of beauty in something unexpected.

    Liked by 1 person

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