There’s nothing like saying, “I’m so fucking sad and lonely.” Yet here it is: I’m so fucking sad and lonely. I don’t mean to be the victim, but I have no idea what to do about it. I have no idea how normal people meet normal people outside of online dating sites. (Let’s face it – many of them are not normal on there!) How do you make new connections in a town where you don’t have any, and in an age that is so distant, and when you are so depressed that you likely drive everyone away anyway?
My ‘friends’ have mostly disappeared – some to live their lives (can’t blame them), some to their assumption that I’m fine, some to their inability to put up with someone so heartbroken… In any case, I’m alone most of the time – at work and at home. It’s hard to bear so much aloneness. I have no confidant. I have no best friend. I am alone with myself and my thoughts.
I am both working and studying, and debating on withdrawing from my course due to the mental incapacity to focus on it. …some days I have strength; today is not one of them.