Day 185: 1 Step Nowhere, 3 Steps Back

I’ve been curled up in a ball for the last few days. Unable to function. Unable to prepare meals for myself. Crying much of the time.

I took today off work for appointments… I’m in no shape to be in any professional setting today anyhow. I have finally called for an appointment to see the doctor; that’ll be later in the week. I don’t want medication, but think it’s important to have something on file there. I would also like a referral to a nutritionist so that when I’m unable to do anything, I can have some quick healthy solutions in miniature form.

Am feeling like I’ve taken a big step backwards, or multiple. I’m not sure what direction my steps are other days, but it’s clear this isn’t a forward motion.

I want to say I’m going to be strong and overcome anything….. I want to say I won’t wallow in despair….. But today is not the day. Today I’m just trying to get to tomorrow, and hoping it’ll have a little light somewhere.

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