Day 142: Weekends

We cherished each moment together. Cooking, cleaning, lounging around, watching sports, shopping… It didn’t matter what we were doing, we were excited to be spending that time together. If we were on different floors of the house, we would either sneak or rush to where the other was just to say ‘I miss you!’, ‘I love you!’, and get some kisses. ‘You love me and don’t you forget it!’

Weeknights held the excitement of being reunited after our days at work, and being together would melt away any stress from the day. Although we would both have stewing moments of our daytime stresses, we knew everything would be fine, because we were together and that trumps all. We could find a way through anything. Together.

Weekends were our even ‘specialer’ days because we got to spend 2.5 full days together. It was our time for adventure, relaxation, and fun. We ensured that we had one really fun thing planned every single month; getaways, sporting events, concerts, get-togethers, theatre…. We wanted to make the most of living, and share it with the one we loved more than anything in the world.

…Fast forward to now…
Weeknights are rough in returning home to where the only voices I hear are those of the tv, who at most offer only a distraction. The sadness settles upon the daily stresses, day after day. I wait for the weekend to come so that I can stop the repeat pattern.

…as wished, the weekend arrives… Oh shit… How could I have forgotten since last weekend?! Every family and couple is having their fun times together. Together. …their sentiments of ‘call me any time’, ‘I’m always here for you, always’, etc ring through my head as they’re too busy doing exactly what I wish I was doing – spending time with the one I love more than anything. It’s a cruel recurring taunt, every single weekend. 2.5 full days… How drastic the weekend has changed. I find myself craving the weekdays so I have something to occupy the majority of my time… Broken record, repeat. Week after week.

I wonder what I’m doing this for. Barely making it through the day, just to be confronted with another that I must somehow scrape by again. Joyless.

Positive: For some reason I felt the need to make applesauce from scratch for the first time in my life yesterday. …it was delicious.

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