Day 93: “You are not alone”

So… a friend I went to university with has since become a psychiatrist. He has been checking up on me to see how I’m doing; I am appreciative that he continues to care while others continue to drift away. He is very well-meaning …HOWEVER, he keeps telling me “you are not alone”, “you are not alone in any of this”, “I understand”,… and today the added, “Do you think that talking to someone professional at this point might be of some help?”

Today it was too much. This was my response:
“Unless a professional can bring Mark back then no.
Grief is very much an alone process. Yes others have been thru it, but their own; I could not understand theirs as much as they could not understand mine. No one can take the every day pain away. No one can bring him back. No one but Mark and I truly know the depths of our love for one another and understand what it was like to be in our relationship together. So I am alone not only every day and every night and every meal and every moment I so desperately wish I could share with him, I am alone in my grief, my mind, and our world.”

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