Day 93: More than a chemical reaction

Three months came and went yesterday …without a single phone call. Thirteen weeks came the day before that …the same. Queue me screaming and bawling as per the new norm… alone. So very much alone.

I miss you and love you immensely. I wonder if you are around and can see me crying. I wonder if you sit beside me holding me… Or if it’s too much to bear. I wonder if you kiss me back when I kiss you goodnight each night. I wonder if you come with me when I invite you wherever I go. I wonder if I’m holding the doors open long enough, or if it’s even necessary. I wonder where you are, and hope it’s somewhere, despite that our faith was questionable. I don’t understand how we can simply disappear and cease to exist. Surely we, our minds, our souls, are more than a chemical reaction. We have to be.

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