Day 59: Perspective

Do you bawl aloud for long periods every single day? Does it involve screaming at top volume? Can you make a meal for yourself? Can you buy milk or bread? Can you eat a normal sized meal? Have you lost significant weight? Is it over 10% of your body weight? Can you eat at a restaurant? Can you go out in public without becoming severely overwhelmed and anxious? Can you walk through a store, any store, without breaking down into tears? Can you read your mail without breaking down into tears? Can you work? Can you focus on anything for any amount of time? Can you look around your home and find anything that isn’t a reminder? Can you imagine a day without him right by your side, a night without being wrapped in one another’s arms, or even a few hours without his hugs, kisses, and ‘I love you’s? Do you have a future? Do you want to die rather than face a day without him? Can you make plans more than 1-2 days in advance? Do those plans have to be flexible so you can break them at the last minute when you’re having a major breakdown and are so sick to your stomach you cannot move? Did all of your hopes and dreams involve him? Did you lose the single most important thing in your entire life? Did you willing spend years of your life working towards a future together? Did you consider each other the love of your life? Have you ever met someone you loved more in your entire life?

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