Day 14: Abnormal norm

The house is so empty. The house is so quiet. Everything we built together, the life we shared and treasured sits around me, but without you, it is painful and empty.

I break down crying, realizing I won’t see you walk these grounds again and I don’t understand how that is possible. How can I live on with such a huge hole in my life. How can I live when my heart lies with you, yet at the same time knowing that is the only place it belongs.
You are my heart, you are my soul. You are my one, only, and everything.

They tell me I must eat. That I must survive. What am I surviving for?
I’m scared. Scared to live without you by my side. Scared to face this world alone. Scared for a life without kissing you and holding you.

I sit here in one of our lounger chairs and look to the other … I can imagine your smiling face as many times as I like but you never appear. Your soft sweet touch and soothing voice exist only in my mind. Your humour to lighten the mood escapes amidst the silence. And somehow…this is to become the norm. So abnormal. So unnatural. So grotesque.

I miss you millions and love you beyond eternity.
I don’t know how to do this.

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